Long Live Chocolate!

Gold, emeralds, lost treasure of long dead pirates. None of these I seek. My quest, my “Fountain of Youth”, my “Holy Grail” is local Organic Dark Chocolate. Upon arriving in Belize I had heard the whispers and rumors: “somewhere in the south, there is man who makes...”, “until a few years ago it did not exist, but now there is...”. Through diligent research and intense interrogations, I finally got a name: “Goss”.

Supposedly in the land to the south there was a man know as Goss who had mastered the sorcery and art needed to make dark bars of pleasure and ecstasy. I must find him, I must find this mythical land.

To the south we sailed. For three days we braved great storms and heavy seas (and saw some dolphins!). We arrived in a dirty little port town known as Placencia. A rough bunch of people trying to sell you fruit smoothies and internet access. I sniffed around town dropping the name “Goss” and seeing if I had any bites. Sure enough, it didn't take long, a tough fellow, carving bizarre totems from wood, pointed to an old shack and said, “Wallen's got some”.

• Who is this “Wallen”? I did not know, but I threw caution to the wind and ventured inside the shabby little building (Wallen's Market). My eyes adjust to the dim lighting and I sauntered up to the bar (or counter, or whatever) and said, “Gimme some Goss over here”. “Light or dark?” the sultry purveyor inquired. “I take mine dark, little lady”. My face was still stinging from her slap as I stumbled outside with the first real evidence that my journey was not in vain: a bar of the fabled Goss chocolate.

Wary of any of my shipmates attempting to pirate away my treasure I conspired to consume it immediately. The pleasure of the smooth and rich flavors melting upon my tongue and lips caused me to lapse into a trance. The deep rich cacao and overwhelming heat finally caused me to lose conciseness. My shipmate (Caroline) eventually discovered me under a coconut tree, naked and babbling.

After I recovered, I knew I must find the source of this chocolate. Instincts told me that the woman at Wallen's would not be cooperative. Luckily I had procured a rudimentary map of the area. Between the map and the small clues on the packaging of the bar, I deduced the source may be 5 miles to the north. It was dangerous terrain to cover, so I convinced my shipmate to come along. We found a local who was willing to loan us two mechanical horses (bicycles) for a small fee, and we set out.

With sweat poring off our brows, we made our way north along the treacherous trail (unpaved road). More than once we had to stop as we neared collapse from sun stroke. After a very long time (about an hour), we came upon a place called the Blue Crab – one of the clues I had acquired. Apparently it is a flop-house of some type, called a “resort”. There I found a man going by the name Kerry Goss, humm, could it be?

I grilled him on the types of cacao beans, the processing methods, mixture ratios. He held up well and I knew I had found the right place. The source of all that is good, just, and delicious in Belize. The Goss Organic Chocolate Factory.

Kerry Goss drives around Belize getting select beans directly from the farmers, all of which are small farms. One prized bean comes from a man with just 2 cacao trees, but they are the best in the land. The sugar also comes from Belize. All of this is processed in small batches in a small, nondescript building, in a small nondescript town 5 miles north of Placencia. 5 years ago all cacao was exported and then chocolate had to be imported, usually the Hershey's kind. Kerry Goss changed all of that and now high quality, local and organic Goss chocolate is available in Belize, maybe elsewhere someday.

That is my tale and, for those of you willing to try, you too may be able to experience the dark pleasures of Goss chocolate. But few, if any, will ever be able to retrace my epic journey to epicenter of it all.

LONG LIVE CHOCOLATE!